why
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I'm rather happy for 2 things. 1)I wrote my first (ever!) Chinese song. I've never even written a Chinese poem, much less a song so for me its a HUGE first. BUT, my dang computer can type chinese yet for some reason when I tried to post the chi lyrics it turned out looking like gibberish..so...yeah 2) I finally figured the chords in another new song thats called 'Why' and its below.
Why
I can't figure out why
she's still in your heart
Its been over some 8 months
since the two of you have been apart
Why that sigh when we pass her
while you're holding my hand?
You said that you loved me
so make me understand
Now it's clear that she's still dear to you
but what I want, is something totally new
(chorus)
Why do you see her when you see me?
Know she saw you first but I'm here now baby
You need to make a choice
You gotta raise your voice
so I can hear you say
"I'll be yours from today"
I can see that in your eyes
memories of her stay
And when we talk, I can tell
that you think of her everyday
Now I know, that she still haunts you so
But what I need is your love for me to show
Repeat chorus
You need to make a choice
You gotta raise your voice
so I can hear you say
"I'll be yours everyday"
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aureliaz out
@ |7:22 PM|
salvation
Friday, July 21, 2006
Carnival day and debate finals today. yay our class won.4/9 VS 4/1 the opposite ends of the spectrum really. proves that the
lousiest class (academically) can still
beat a
triple science class. speakers were all great even though 3 out of 4 overshot. so we entertained the old folks in the 2/9 room. They were so cute~
Edited the first song I
ever wrote during Bio and Lit. Always end up doing 1 of 2 things in Bio..1)Sleep 2)Write/compose poems/songs. I swear that it's Tay LL's fault. lol
Actually I'm still quite bummed that I can never find appropriate chords to accompany my songs when I already have the melody. Anyway here it is...my 1st baby lol.
Salvation (There I'll Be)
I'd give my all
To catch you when you fall
Give all my love
When you're down, I'm up above
Looking down when you frown
When you're hoping to be found
Salvation~
Cause there I'll be
Will you see
All the feelings inside of me
And I don't know what to do
Everytime I look at you
Found salvation in you
I'd share my dreams
For you and me are both a team
Share all of me
Cause alone I cannot be
When you're gone I can't go on
Lost in the memory of our song
Salvation~
Cause there I'll be
Will you see
all the love to you from me
And I'm a fool, fool for you
Just one look and I lose my cool
Found salvation in you
(Bridge)
You were my hopes, my dreams
Don't let this be torn up in seams
Won't be able to get by
If you wont tell me why..
Cause there I'll be
Can you see
All the love to you from me
And I'm just scared, of what you'll do
Will we have something that's true
Found salvation in you
My salvation is you...
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aureliaz out
@ |9:36 PM|
home parody
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Oral was yesterday. Thought it went quite well albeit one or two hiccups. Was really embarassing at one point though, cause after the picture part Mdm Azizan said Thank you and the incredibly nervous and dense me...
STOOD UP. oh my goodness. She looked a bit shocked and was like its not over yet Stephanie. there's still the conversation. What to do? I sat my fat butt back down and apologized profusely ^^. Mdm Azizan was very nice though..gave me some gd comments and constructive criticism.
Today was interesting. Started out a bit worrying though cause Adela Chee didn't come yesterday and today. Apparently she had a personal problem yesterday and...yeah anyway hope its nothing too serious. Really really hoping so because I think she's overall quite a decent teacher. After school we had to decorate the 2/9 classroom for our guests aka the old people. Caryl and I went to KNA to get crepe paper and we had fun~~the atmosphere when we were all working was really light hearted as well and I think we made that room look
great *nods*. Another thing that happened was...I finished my food parody of Home during Bio! I was hungry! You just can't begrudge a hungry girl man.
You just can't. So here it is~sing along if you want lol.
Home (A Foody/Glutton Version)Whenever I'm feeling hungryI call my friend to go Clark Quay,Newton Circle or Boon KeeFor chicken rice or Hokken mee.Cause we eat our food togetherJust like we've done beforeLike roti prata which brings us lifeFrying throughout Singapore(Chorus)This is home, trulyWhere I know I must beCause food is waiting for meAnd weight is put on easily.This is home, surelyAs my stomach tells meI would die if all this is goneFor this is where I know I'm homeThough it's a boring place for youYou can just go eat something newThere is comfort in the knowledgeThat bliss is found in every chewAnd we'll eat supper togetherBonding like never beforeJust like char kway teow which brings us lifeStirfrying throughout SingaporeChorus x 2Cause food is what keeps me at home..Now you know why I'm this size *sniggers* For the record 1)I've never eaten Boon Kee chicken rice before. 2) I've never been a fan of char kway teow. 3) OI! It's still patriotic okay? At least I think it is haha. *runs and dodges as patriotic and loyal Singaporean citizens pelt me with stale ketupats and rotting fish*
Motto of the day:
EAT, drink and be merry!
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aureliaz out
@ |6:04 PM|
...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Just came across someone's blog who lambasted me for sharing the commonwealth news. Someone I thought was a friend. Someone I obviously misjudged terribly. Someone I'll probably never speak to ever again.
My god, every word was so nasty and my stomach just sank. Sank as in the way the Titanic sank after it crashed into the iceberg.
I'm SORRY all right? I'm sorry I did something I could be proud of for once in my fucking life. I'm sorry for all the people who think I'm someone who likes to gloat and preen. I'm sorry I was so happy that I wanted to share the news with the first person I saw. I'm infinitely sorry that the first person was you.
I feel like crying so badly. Because I can't think of a feeling that is worse than the sense of betrayal. Makes me wonder what I'm still doing here and why I'm putting up with this shit when I'm almost at my breaking point.
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aureliaz out
@ |2:50 PM|
ecstatic abt commonwealth
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Really really ecstatic right now because of this
http://www.rcsint.org/essay/?os=221&os=226&os=230&os=222&os=232&subSection=winners2006&os=223#223 . Back already? My goodness I was in a complete state of shock. The way I actually found out about it was actually quite funny. My p6 classmate came onto MSN and he was like 'congrats' I went 'er for what exactly'..'being a runnerup for the commonwealth essay' My jaw dropped and my mind went blank. 'SERIOUSLY?!?! OMFG!' was my reaction. I sound like a Sec 2 through my typing but I honestly don't care right now. I only have 2 real regrets 1) The 2nd prize was a guy from RI and 2) I thought that the concept in my essay was good but my execution was choppy and plainly speaking quite bad- who knows whether I might have gotten further if it was improved?
I shouldn't get greedy. Sure if I had won something it would have been a lot sweeter but coming in as a runnerup and being shortlisted is already a really great acknowledgement and I honestly never expected it. It truly made my day. That's really all I have to say. Besides the fact that my cheeks are aching from smiling too much.
Joke of the day : A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee. He takes one sip, spits it out and shouts at the waiter: 'Why does this coffee taste like earth?!' The waiter looks at him coolly and says : 'It was ground yesterday Sir'
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aureliaz out
@ |11:12 PM|
Muted Longing
Monday, July 10, 2006
Some people in the class really manage to piss me off. Seriously. I honestly do not give a flying fuck as to how smart you are, how eloquent you are, how 'nice' you are, how talented you are or how perfect you are. But what I do care about is that you treat the people you dislike, people who have never done anything malicious to you, with the bitchiest and coldest of attitudes. To put it simply, ****** , you are a major fucking
bitch who hides behind a facade. A
facade is that is chockful of intelligence, kindness and sweetness but a facade nevertheless. And one day, I hope this facade is viciously
ripped off your face like a poorly made party mask. How can I say that you're a bitch? Because it takes one to know one. I know you won't see this, and even if you did, you'd probably not recognise yourself. But someday if you glance upon your image in a mirror and see in that reflection the horrid and nasty side of your character, well..try not to be too surprised.
Because the person you find it easiest to lie to will always be yourself.
Sometimes I wonder how much rage can build up within a person till you lose every shred of sanity you have encapsulated in your body...
On a lighter note, Adela Chee was going through some stuff again for the benefit of the band people who'd missed their lesson, leaving me thoroughly bored. So bored-lil'-ole-me borrowed folscap (I always seem to be doing that aren't I?) from Soo Ming and hey-ho another poem. I seem to be writing a lot more this day..inspiration strikes and it's hard to ignore it I guess.
That Muted Longing
The carressing breath of autumn
leaves a trail upon my face.
Reminds me of that muted longing
I just cannot quite place.
It's in the whisper of the leaves
as they break and fall through the air.
The reds and yellows clash-like we used to
and yet you are not there.
It's in the gradual cold that seeps in
down to the very bone.
It's cruel, harsh and biting
now that I'm all alone.
It's in the gold that litter the pavements
the streets we used to walk.
The remembrance of meaningless topics
about which we used to talk.
That muted longing is back so strong..
when will it fade away?
It'd take a while cause it's reality
but I know it will someday.
Aight aight..Not one of my best I admit and a little cheesy to boot but what the heck.
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aureliaz out
@ |6:30 PM|
The Silence
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Came up with a song in the library today. It's kind of funny really-cause I was actually hell-bent on studying Biology, and I did! For the first 10 minutes or so anyway. I think it's because of the video I watched yesterday on youtube. Never quite discussed by terranaomi. She is phenomenal and abso-bloody-lutely talented in songwriting and singing. Anyhow, the song just kept going through my head till I succumbed and borrowed a piece of foolscap from Abby and the results are below.
The Silence- Steph Phang
When you left and closed my door
What I heard was what I feared
more than anything else before
the 'click' followed by
the silence.
The tears ran from my eyes
for you broke through the fence
I held round everyone I've known
Now all that's left here is
the silence.
The silence's so long
Especially when I'm alone
I know that you're gone
but that does nothing to ease my pain
And what have we gained
through this standstill we've arrived at?
I believe that we just can't answer that.
No we just cant answer that~
we just can't answer that.
Before you left, you came and pleaded
"Erase me from your mind
and it'll be better all in time."
Was the silence what
you needed?
The silence's so cold
and lingers on in my soul.
I know that I will
survive this excruciating wait.
And even though my heart breaks
I'll be stronger than ever
for I'm sure, that this silence won't last forever
No it wont, no it won't...
Cause it won't last forever..
I have the whole tune/melody figured out. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with fitting chords on the piano..Damn I wish I'd followed through with the guitar. Now the only way I can sing it is acapella. Oh well..
The father figure went nuts a few days ago. Smashed my mum's phone and labtop to smithereens because she was out late working. Thankfully things are somewhat stable now even though they aren't talking to each other.. I wish...for so many things.. but then again we were all born and dealt the cards of fate. Who are we to dispute?
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aureliaz out
@ |9:25 PM|
